Five day rant

Jeez, its been five days since my last rant. "Ok, son, say three 'hail fairies' and offend someone quickly or else...."

I just spent a weekend in rural PA. Near the junctions of two interstates, about 40 miles East of Pittsburgh, lies the sleepy town of "Podunk, Pa." (The name has been changed to protect the locals.) Now in this little hovel, I mean locale, there are about 20 filling stations, 15 fast foods "restaurants" and 15 "inns". One cannot find fresh food there. Nor anyone with all their teeth, a clear complexion, and an absence of body ink on anyone older than 12. I ate five fried meals there in a row. Why, you might ask, was I there? A wedding reception.

I knew that things were going downhill, when they passed the boot: you throw money into it to dance with either the bride or the groom. But it was clear that I was no longer in the People's Republic of Cambridge when the gentleman in the "beat-your-wife" tee shirt took the dance floor. Somehow it was all just a little painful. I cannot fathom how others felt. It was just sad. But you know, they were having fun. So who the [expletive] am I to judge.

Then I realized that the "guests" could vote for President. At that juncture I became slightly uneasy. These people were neither "red state" folks, nor "blue state" citizens. They were barely conscious of the outside world. Good thing too, 'cause they could never bring themselves to get up in the morning, if they had an inkling of the outside world that actually exists out there. Heck, I'd smoke cystal meth too if that is all that I had to look forward to in the world. But that is the point, there is LOTS to look forward to in the world, but you have to take yourself by the hand (yeah, I know that there is a physical problem there, but let me go on) and make that first move. Nobody moves there. They have McJobs, ride Harleys or drive jacked-up pick-ups, dip snuff and get tattoos. And the globe continues to spin, by and by.

Iraq? Huh? That is someplace you go to get on the modern equivalent of the GI bill to get enough education to get the hell out of Podunk. Hmm, let me see ... become a sniper and shoot [insurgents, innocent people, not-so-innocent people, just about any target] or mow lawns in Podunk. Not so difficult a choice. I'd pull your fingernails out if it only meant that I would not have to go back and live there: "Yes, sir, extract the info, sir. No problem, sir." Back here in my study in a blue state all that seems pretty remote. Those are crimes, either in fact, or in a greater humanistic sense. But I am afraid, it is simply not that easy. The military is a viable and honorable option in Podunk -- no matter what your political leanings, or other beliefs.

I'd like to rant about the f@@@n Sumner Tunnel and the crap that falls from the roof onto people's cars and stuff like that (my return from PA), but that will have to wait until I come back from burning some fossil fuels picking up my kids from their elitist private school in the People's Republic. Ever noticed how some of the most expensive schools in the nation are located in the furthest left (politically) enclaves? Is that just a guilt trip? Or is it a smoke screen (don't look behind the curtain at the reality of just how much it costs to send your sons and daughters to these elitist establishments)? You know, the products of these schools will have to do some serious backpedalling if they are going to raise the coin to send their sons and daughters to the same schools. And their grades had be pretty darn good too. Oh, wait, I forgot the legacy system. Not very egalitarian, but heck, I mean well and that is the point.

Is it. Try a weekend in Podunk.