Armada, Indeed!
Happy New Year. There. I've done it. I made my feeble attempt to be nice.
And now, back to the usual.
So there is this woman who lives across the street from my son's school in Cambridge (Land of Love, Ground Zero for Peace, the People's Republic, etc.), right across from the drop-off line in the morning and pick-up line in the afternoon. She has had some issues with the fact that if people park close to her driveway exit (by virtue of the fact that they can legally park there, they are local "citizens") she has trouble with making a left hand turn upon leaving her driveway. This turn is harder when people are pulled up alongside the curb opposite her driveway, waiting to drop kids off at school.
So in the true peace-loving way of Cantabrigians, she tends to get out of her car and SCREAM at people who are in the drop off line. No matter that they are perfectly within their rights on the other side of the street. No matter that the school and drop off line have been there long before she bought the house (within the last three years). No matter that more skillful drivers would be able to "make" the turn. No matter that she could turn right instead of left (there is a junction to another road on the right which allows space). Now, she leaves every morning between 7:40 and 7:45 with one child in her vehicle to make HER school run to wherever HER child goes to school. I happened to follow her once as far as a parochial school just over a mile away, but did not see a drop-off.
Up until recently, she owned a station wagon ("estate" to you Brits) which was largish, but still manageable. However, she has made a new purchase: a Nissan Armada. For those of you who are not familiar with it, or have not heard of one, the Nissan Armada wsa the Nissan corporation's solution for the "full-sized SUV market." Full-sized as in equal to a Ford Excursion, Chevy Tahoe, and similar vehicles. That is, an SUV built on the chassis of a truck -- in this case the Nissan Titan. To get a feeling for the sheer size of the thing -- and it road holding qualities -- think of what the word "armada" brings to mind.... A fleet of huge, sow-bellied Spanish treasure and war galleons, wallowing sickly in the Atlantic swell while the lithe and nimble British warships blow them to hell and gone. "Titan" also brings to mind the notion of size. So does "Titanic." Yeah, that sort of thing. Don't let the picture fool you (nowhere in Nissan's literature is there a picture of someone standing near it) -- a 10 year old might not be able to reach the rear door handle, and I (about 5'11") come just over shoulder high to the bottom of the windows. This thing is MASSIVE.
For someone who already has problems making the turn out of her driveway, I'd have thought that perhaps a VW Golf might make sense. After all, nobody I have spoken with (and that is quite a few parents that have been shouted/screamed at) has ever seen more than the Loonie and her son in the car? And does she NEED a Street-galleon for her trips about town in Cambridge? And but for having a longish driveway where she can hide her excess, she would have to park that thing on the streets of Cambridge -- green and mean Cambridge -- where the natives might emphatically signal their disapproval of her vehicular choice.
In fact, no matter where you stand on the real/fake issue of global warming, that thing is still nothing short of a rolling ecological disaster area.
It does make the drop off interesting, though. Today she got stuck, started honking, and continued to do so all the way down the street and around the bend -- 150 yards or so. If I was her cardiologist, I'd tell her to lay off of the caffeine in the morning, at least until she clears the driveway....
And now, back to the usual.
So there is this woman who lives across the street from my son's school in Cambridge (Land of Love, Ground Zero for Peace, the People's Republic, etc.), right across from the drop-off line in the morning and pick-up line in the afternoon. She has had some issues with the fact that if people park close to her driveway exit (by virtue of the fact that they can legally park there, they are local "citizens") she has trouble with making a left hand turn upon leaving her driveway. This turn is harder when people are pulled up alongside the curb opposite her driveway, waiting to drop kids off at school.
So in the true peace-loving way of Cantabrigians, she tends to get out of her car and SCREAM at people who are in the drop off line. No matter that they are perfectly within their rights on the other side of the street. No matter that the school and drop off line have been there long before she bought the house (within the last three years). No matter that more skillful drivers would be able to "make" the turn. No matter that she could turn right instead of left (there is a junction to another road on the right which allows space). Now, she leaves every morning between 7:40 and 7:45 with one child in her vehicle to make HER school run to wherever HER child goes to school. I happened to follow her once as far as a parochial school just over a mile away, but did not see a drop-off.
Up until recently, she owned a station wagon ("estate" to you Brits) which was largish, but still manageable. However, she has made a new purchase: a Nissan Armada. For those of you who are not familiar with it, or have not heard of one, the Nissan Armada wsa the Nissan corporation's solution for the "full-sized SUV market." Full-sized as in equal to a Ford Excursion, Chevy Tahoe, and similar vehicles. That is, an SUV built on the chassis of a truck -- in this case the Nissan Titan. To get a feeling for the sheer size of the thing -- and it road holding qualities -- think of what the word "armada" brings to mind.... A fleet of huge, sow-bellied Spanish treasure and war galleons, wallowing sickly in the Atlantic swell while the lithe and nimble British warships blow them to hell and gone. "Titan" also brings to mind the notion of size. So does "Titanic." Yeah, that sort of thing. Don't let the picture fool you (nowhere in Nissan's literature is there a picture of someone standing near it) -- a 10 year old might not be able to reach the rear door handle, and I (about 5'11") come just over shoulder high to the bottom of the windows. This thing is MASSIVE.
For someone who already has problems making the turn out of her driveway, I'd have thought that perhaps a VW Golf might make sense. After all, nobody I have spoken with (and that is quite a few parents that have been shouted/screamed at) has ever seen more than the Loonie and her son in the car? And does she NEED a Street-galleon for her trips about town in Cambridge? And but for having a longish driveway where she can hide her excess, she would have to park that thing on the streets of Cambridge -- green and mean Cambridge -- where the natives might emphatically signal their disapproval of her vehicular choice.
In fact, no matter where you stand on the real/fake issue of global warming, that thing is still nothing short of a rolling ecological disaster area.
It does make the drop off interesting, though. Today she got stuck, started honking, and continued to do so all the way down the street and around the bend -- 150 yards or so. If I was her cardiologist, I'd tell her to lay off of the caffeine in the morning, at least until she clears the driveway....
posted by Zaphod at Thursday, January 04, 2007
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