They ARE as they appear!!

I have been spending more than a little time in court recently and I have come to the realization that you can make generalizations -- at least visually. If you head down to arraignments on a Monday morning, you will see a parade of the guests of the Commonwealth marched up in front of the judge for a preliminary "why are you here" moment.

And they LOOK like criminals. I mean virtually all of them. It does not matter if they are white, black or hispanic or something from Mars, they look like people who do bad things, almost to a person. The gang-bangers are obvious, no matter the ethnicity, they have the same hang dog expression coupled with the latent threat. You want to shake them and yell, "hey, idiots, buy some pants that fit you. And while you are in the store, score some shirts with sleeves and dump the beat-your-wife vest. Also hats without the purchase stickers still on them might help make you look less criminal -- losers."

Then there are the shaved-headed ones: they intentionally shave their heads to inspire fear, also to make it harder for foes in a fight to grab onto something (skull caps in rugby fulfill the same purpose). Look for the lack of hair, tattoos and scars and you will see charges of assault. These guys also LOOK stupid, you know, the sort of retards in your high school class who laughed at other people's misfortunes, laughed at bad jokes and made inappropriate comments to girls -- as if that might excite the girls into having sex with them.

The greasy shifty-eyed types: sure to be there for assault with a deadly weapon, CPW (criminal possession of a weapon), robbery or sexual assault. And again, while certain ethnicities have a higher representation in this category, the overall "look" is uniform across the races.

It is as if each race makes an approximation of the "look" of that type of felon, but tailored to their social grouping. White and black gang members have a fondness for the "Tar Heels" of North Carolina ... even though the closest most of them have ever been to NC, is maybe New York. Everyone thinks that their butt-crack is attractive.

There is no eye-contact in the normal way from any of them: either they stare directly at you in challenge, or they refuse to make contact at all, except for the briefest of moments. The eyes being true windows to the soul seems to be more apt than the metaphor might suggest. Felony assault = direct stare. Sexual assault rarely more than a sly glance. Robbery with a weapon , stares followed by looking around the room, then stares with a smile, perhaps. Weird.

The whole experience is weird. But worthwhile. IF you have nothing better to do, visit the courtrooms of the Commonwealth: you will see that profiling (at least visually) does make sense.

In later court appearances, you can tell whether they have good counsel: a lawyer they pay for means a suit and an attempt to clean up. A public defender means, either they get hauled out of lock-up in the their custom jail threads, or it looks like they intend to attend a Mike Vick enterprises entertainment show.

Outside of the probate and family courts (in the Commonwealth, this is where divorces get their public sessions) the looks presented are more interesting -- but the faces tell the story here. No joy in Mudville. Depressing place.