Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Peckerwood

Spitzer ... peckerwood.

Why is it that the most vociferous of politicos are always caught with their pants down? Holier-than-thou Eliot Spitzer, bane of Wall Street, fighter for justice, freedom from corruption and best friend of the "little guy" ... spent over $80,000 on pootie. And he got caught. Like an angry child, he posed and frowned, and you could just tell that he was thinking that "this wasn't fair." Not fair because he is Eliot the Wunderkind Spitzer. The Governor of the Empire State, brought low because of carnal urges.

A whole parade of similar "villains" comes to mind, Bill "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" Clinton leading the way. Gary Hartpence. Larry Craig. Barney Frank (gay interns, anyone?). Jim Baker (remember Tammy Faye?). Ted Haggerty. James Buchanan. Alexander Hamilton. Arnold Terminator. Gary Condit and the missing Chandra Levy? And a slew of other Senators, Congressmen, religious leaders, etc. Wiki "political sex scandal," and scroll down the page: there must be 100 of them just for U.S. political leaders. It is like a warm and fuzzy stroll down memory lane.

Back to Eliot: given the amount of dosh actually spent per visit, one must wonder exactly what his particular pecadillo might be? I mean, there are plenty of just luscious (and obviously for hire) women parading around the hotels of New York. You have got to believe that they are available for less than the reported $4,000 per tryst. What gives? Is it a maid and heels thing (Spitzer wearing them, of course)? We heard tell of "not safe" practices ... hell that encompasses lots of potential weirdness. Is it the price of secrecy? Is it all part of an insidious Wall Street plan to get even (I LIKE that particular thought)?

How did he find out about the Emperor Club? How was he -- "who is brilliant" -- so stupid as to get caught by means of money transfers that resemble laundering? Surely, the great organized crime fighter should be aware of the red flags?

And yet he hangs on to office. Of course, the precedent is there: the spouse of the wannabe Democratic front runner (as opposed to the actual front runner) held onto office long after the shame factor should have driven him home to Arkansas. He (and she) showed us that if you hang on long enough, you can get away with anything, even to the extent that the "wronged spouse" gets elected Senator and has the gall to run for President! And if you believe that Hil-liar was the "wronged little woman" you are an idiot. Hil-liar was at the helm of SS Damage Control (also known as Hillary '08). She helped place the office in disrepute, helped Bill demolish the integrity and honor of the office she so desperately wants.

So Eliot ... resign today, please? Do it for your party. Do it for your family (although supposedly his wife was encouraging him to fight on). Get your lousy, stinking, hypocritical face out of public life. You miserable slime-ball. You destroyed countless lives, ruined careers, created tens of thousands of sleepless nights for innocent, hard-working financial professionals, hurt their families -- all for your raw naked ambition. Disgusting fingernail grime.

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