Haiti

We are all horrified by the human suffering resulting from the 7.1 earthquake in Haiti. The unimaginable chaos and pain caused by the collapse of the slums and other buildings is too painful to watch.

That sort of human tragedy can happen anywhere, but the magnitude is largely due to the fact that Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, and the people were living in shanty towns, the major buildings in disrepair and built by corrupt contractors substituting concrete for sand. So what is the deal?

France is ALL OVER the United States for its failures to provide enough aid fast enough -- so when do the French get to critique our humanitarian aid? Where is it written that the French are the arbiters of aid-skill? Where are your aircraft carriers, and hospital ships France? Where are your helicopters that can lift water and food to the needy? Where are your troops to keep looters and gangs wielding machetes off the streets? You cowered behind the American umbrella of security since 1945 -- contributing essentially nothing and now we are the aggressors?

France claims that we are invading Haiti ... we left Haiti in 1935 and since then, it has been a long downward slide into a bucket of crap. But why? We Americans spent 7 years in Haiti 1928-35 and more than doubled paved roads (actually provided almost all they have, even to date). More than doubled hospitals. Provided sewers, fresh water, electricity -- none of which has been serviced or upgraded since. It is NOT the U.S.'s problem, never has been, and never will be.

The notion of an American invasion is particularly rich from the French. In case they have forgotten, twice Americans "invaded" France, chiefly to help the French to avoid having to learn German. You lousy, chicken-ass, weasels. The reality of the matter is that this mess of shit is almost exclusively French in origin. And for over 200 years, they have sort of been the patron saints of Haitian chaos.

France's history of screwing up its former colonies is not limited to Haiti, however. Let's just run through a little list ... French Indo-china ... Vietnam? Cote d'Ivoire? Chad? Central African Republic? Mali, Niger, Benin, Senegal, Mauritania, Republic of Congo, French Somalia, Lebanon, Algeria, Tunisia, French Polynesia. In short, if you want a list of some of the poorest, most wretched, violent and war-torn countries on Earth, it is hard not to look at former French colonies as a starting place.

For reasons of full disclosure, those colonies that have remained with France (or France wanted to keep) have done better than those who were given their "freedom" first. Mauritius and Reunion have done "ok" but are sliding further backwards, their sole asset being tourism. St Barths and the various island holdings still considered Departments of France are like pieces of France with a reggae falvor. But where France did the typical colonial thing, there is nothing but chaos.

So what's the deal with Haiti? Back in the early 1700's Haiti was the prize: it was the largest exporter of sugar in the world. And to extract this bounty, France imported tens of thousands of slaves every year because they died of cruel and inhuman treatment by the tens of thousands. French-style as opposed to the merely barbaric of the English, Spanish and Americans.

And then came the French revolution ... but those wonder patriots did nothing to assist their poor oppressed black possessions. The Citoyens of Paris made too much money from Haiti. However, a certain slave called Toussaint was inspired by the revolution and led a slave uprising which, suprisingly, finally defeated Napoleon's army gaining independence in 1804. That was the first successful slave uprising (maybe only?), the second republic in the Western Hemisphere and he first black republic.

The French were pissed. But rather than re-invade to re-establish the plantations (800 sugar and 3000 coffee) which they had destroyed in leaving -- to prevent them from falling into slave hands -- the French decided to strangle the new country economically. They put up a blockade preventing trade: and who but the English could kick France's ass on the high seas? No-one. The English didn't care, their plantations in Jamaica and elsewhere were doing just fine.

To get France off of their backs and recognize independence, France demanded 150 million gold francs compensation for their lost industry and land. Haiti had no choice but to accept. Let's put this into perspective. The Louisiana Purchase was less than half of that, paid by a country producing hundreds of times more revenue. Alaska was bought for a few percent of that. But by force of cannon, the French extracted what they figured the whole country was worth, lock stock and barrel, plus lost revenues and profits: probably the single most expensive ransom ever paid. To cope, Haiti started to take loans out from America, Britain and elsewhere. And because Haiti was a poor credit risk, the rates were devastating. This debt was not extinguished until 1947. Money that could have been used to build an infrastructure went to France and the bankers (interest to bankers, principal to France).

It might be interesting to note that some of the vaunted French schools may have had part of their buildings paid for by the poor blacks of Haiti. In about 2000 Haiti demanded restitution for the extortion of the past 200 years from France, about $30 billion to help reconstruct the country. France's heist had left the country deforested, without infrastructure and economically unable to find its feet.

And France has the "gaul" to tell the Americans that we are invading Haiti and screwing up our relief efforts.