Christmoween

Christmoween. That is the name of the new holiday celebrated by Americans -- and increasingly, the English. What is Christmoween? It is that "holiday" period extending from the time at which Christmas crap starts appearing in the stores until the day after Christmas (or Boxing Day in Canada and Britain).

Seriously, I saw Christmas crap being hauled out to the display stands in malls and shopping centers around Boston. I have also confirmed that others living in the UK and elsewhere in the US have seen the same. It is not enough that we are besieged with fake merry drivel from Thanksgiving onwards, but it was an unspoken rule that the Christmas season began the day after Turkey Day. I know that in the UK, it used to be a December 1 kick-off.

But something has happened.... The greed of the merchandisers has moved the ball forward. Or is desperation? The need to squeeze out the last possible dime or 10p from the consumer? The press from "above" to induce ever more guilt in the poor shopper to boost spending on goods that are not wanted and the household can ill-afford? Are we crazy?

The stock market is tumbling again as we speak, a result of disappointing earnings, follow-on from the credit crunch, a lower dollar and ... oil hitting $100 per barrel. But since oil is dollar priced, as the dollar slides, it "forces" producers to tamp supply so that the price rises to compensate for lost earnings. As the economy continues to sag, rates will be cut by the Fed -- leading to a lower dollar, higher oil and energy prices, higher home heating and transportation bills ... and lower consumer spending on ... Christmas.

So, in the true American (and UK) fashion, we advertise and promote, pump up the volume and hysteria ... all to induce people to spend senselessly. The result is greater consumer debt, more foreclosures, lower property prices, less personal wealth, etc. The result is also Jingle-frikkin-bells starting November 1. There is a radio station in Kansas City that has ALREADY gone to an all Christmas music format. Say What? Huh? Are you kidding me?

With heating oil going to cost close to double the prices paid two years ago, you have got to believe that Santa is going to skip more than a few houses this year. The fall out will be terrible results for retailers -- count on it. The Grinch will be chortling from the top of Mount Crumpit as Whos everywhere cry and whine: "my credit card has maxed out"; "I have to turn the heating to only 68"; "I couldn't afford to give 6 year old Johnny his new 80 gig playstation"; "it cost me $100 to fill my SUV...."

Welcome to the future, Americans. Yes, you can't afford your 12 mpg behemoth, your blue ox that you so desperately "need" for those days where there is 1/2 inch of snow threatening your existence. Of course, you'd never be caught dead in a people-mover, but ... they do get 25-30 mpg. Remember 1973? I do. I remember the death of the "muscle car" and the birth of 4 cylinder engines in the US of A. Were those cars we produced in response to the 1973 OPEC crunch simply terrible? Yes. Do we have to suffer that again? No, because in the rest of the (non-oil producing) world, they have been paying double this for their fuel ever since 1973 and they have developed WONDERFUL cars that get 40mpg. I drove a Citroen C4 (2.0 litre turbodiesel) last month in Spain and it kicked butt out of nearly anything available for sale here in the US and got 40+ mpg. It also cruised comfortably over 100 mph, and emitted no smoke.

So barring some miracle of automotive conscience allowing cars the rest of the world uses to be imported here -- or better yet, built here, you will have to start to consider taking public transport. Transport which, of course, hardly exists in the country, largely due to the ministrations of the oil and car companies in collusion with Washington. Want to blame the Republicans for this? Then why are the car producing states Democrat controlled -- and always have been? Why is the car lobby able to block needed reform in a Democrat controlled Senate and Congress? Why don't we promote the efficient and clean diesels in this country as they do in Europe (it is more profitable to sell gasoline and make gasoline engines, so you won't see the above-mentioned co-conspirators breaking their butts to introduce them)? But if you drive an SUV -- a TRUCK for government fuel efficiency purposes, and clean air regulations in California, Vermont and Mass., then you are exempt from anything that might make sense. In those states you can drive a Ford Expedition (based on what a Ford F350 pickup?) which get zero mpg, spews Hindenburg volumes of noxious gas, mountains of particulates, but you can't drive a little VW 1.8 liter TDi diesel that gets 45mpg, and tiny amounts of particulates because it is a car and as a result its engine's output is too dirty on a relative basis? Absolute impact to the environment is thrown out the window? What, are we collectively stupid? And the reason the diesel fails at all is because the diesel fuel we allow the oil companies to pump in this country is so dirty that third world nations have banned it? It is all about the sulfur, the relative primitiveness of U.S. built diesels, the profits to be made on the engines and the refining of the fuel -- all of which serve to screw us, the U.S. consumer. And we have liberal weenies crying about global warming -- let's DO something about it, but it will involve more than a little pain here at home.

How? Welcome to putting on an extra sweater in Winter and maybe sweating a little in Summer. Energy for heating and cooling to maintain that "perfect 70 degrees" is an extravagance that has no place in the future. Sorry. Maybe living in the desert is fine during the Winter -- but in the Summer it is insane. Florida is generally too hot for most of us, as is a large part of the Southwest. Santa, are you listening? And if you want to have a McMansion, you will have to pay for the privilege -- and pay dearly. The difference in heating a 7000 sq. ft. house and a 2500 sq. ft. house is huge. And exponential. Sure Santa may have more roof to land his sleigh on, but so too will you lose heat from that same 1/2 acre of roof. Maybe, we need to shut down parts of our houses that we really don't need. I almost always shake my head in wonder at how Europeans manage to live at all in the small poop-boxes they call houses there, but in the context of affordability, they are laughing at us. Well insulated, with smaller windows, and efficient use of space, they can afford their dwellings and energy price rises as a much smaller percentage of available household spending.

France gets over 75% of their electricity from nuclear energy. Just think about that. The green crazies never managed to get much traction in France, although their social welfare system will more than make up for such prudence. But here in the US, we continue to build coal-fired power stations. What's up with that? Instead it is better to make a bunch of Arabs (who'd like to kill us) rich, driving up our national debt, debasing our currency, making us a global laughing stock, a poor debtor nation? We need the Salvation Army out there taking donations for the US Treasury.

See, I am getting back to the topic at hand! Extending the Christmas season to engulf Halloween is a paradigm of actions that won't cure the ills that afflict this country right now. We are already extended way past our means and do not sell date. We are up to our eyeballs in debt as a country. We have borrowed and borrowed to maintain our lifestyle, a lifestyle that we simply could not afford, cannot afford and will not be able to afford. Wishful thinking won't help us, no matter how much Democrats will tell you that is can be solved by taxing those who already pay 90% of the Federal Budget. Our problem is SPENDING. On a national level. No amount of "holiday cheer" is going to change that. And we certainly cannot afford to take 30 million "guest workers" and fund their needs too. We cannot afford the consumption of legal Americans. Going shopping at Wal-mart won't free up the dollars, either ... it is simply writing a check (which would bounce if we wrote it personally) on a national level to China.

Ergo, it sure annoys the hell out of me to hear Jingle-pumpkins -- a sure sign of denial. Screw Bong Croosby. A pox on your sleigh bells. Rudolph might make a good roast.

Until at least after Thanksgiving.