Turkey Day
Holidays in the United States generally seem to miss the point. Too much forced guilt and pretend merriment. Thanksgiving is another one of those occasions. Here people travel all over the country "to get to spend the 'holiday' with their families or other loved ones." Busiest travel days of the year. For what? In true American fashion we screw the nuts off of anyone foolish enough to have to use commercial transport to make their annual "pilgrimage" to their Turkey Day feast. Blackouts to travel and discount fares make this a fantastic opportunity to pillage the pocketbook of the Average Joe.
Then you have an entire industry built to produce food for the feast, featuring a basically tasteless bird, package bought "stuffing", potato buds, canned cranberries (which almost nobody eats at any other time of the year), disgusting psuedo vegetables such as sweet potatoes, turnips, and pumpkin pie. Gag. Just because someone has surmised that the Pilgrims ate such fare, we should be subjected to it? Are you kidding me? Furthermore, we didn't even begin to "celebrate" Thanksgiving with all the trimmings and football until relatively recently.
The first Turkey Day was held sometime in late September, 1621. Not November. In the early 1800's New York State adopted the celebration as an annual custom. By the mid-1800's many states had done so. In 1863, Lincoln declared the last Thursday in November as Thankgiving Day. In 1939, Roosevelt declared that it should be the fourth Thursday in November. So you see, it is not exactly some sort of miraculous thing that started back in the days of the Pilgrims and has carried forward to us intact.
In fact, the Pilgrim's initial September harvest feast lasted three days and they ate a VERY different menu. There would have been many different kinds of meat (meat was for when you wanted to celebrate), fish, lobster (almost a pest, there were so many), clams, corn, berries and of course, wild fowl.
Which brings up one of the things that bothers me most about American-style "holidays" (note that Thanksgiving is certainly not "holy" as in a holiday), they only lasts one day. The Pilgrims partied for three days. Three!! Now that would make a longish trip and fleecing by the airlines more worthwhile. Christmas is virtually universally two days outside of the US. Here, we shop, make merry have cocktail parties and plan/scheme and fret over gifts for a holiday that lasts 35 nanoseconds until the kids demolish the wrapping. Whoopee. Let's get real about this too: Christman is rooted in a pagan feast celebrating the shortest night of the year and was a multi-day event. The Catholic church shanghai'd it for their purposes (if the peasants are going to party anyway, let's make it about our gig) ... cause most scholars figure that Christ was born in February or March. Hey, I could do with a party then, and not some penance period starting and lasting for 40 days. But getting back to the plot, Boxing Day is civilized. Going back to work on the 26th as though nothing has happened, then pretending to work until New Year's Eve is insulting. In Europe (not extactly the model of working ethics, but...) the whole she-bang basically shuts down from December 20th until January 4th or so. Now that's what I am talking about.
And the fleecing of the public that goes on at Christmas too -- not only do you have to travel, you pay stupid sums for goods that will be sold for half of the price you paid, only days later. All to assuage some form of guilt drummed into us by the advertising agencies that would have you believe that McDonald's is good for you (I'm loving it). Imagine if you spent all those shekels on good food and wine ... you'd have a party that you would remember until the next year. Or, in perhaps a way that will brand me as un-American, you gave the money that you would have spent on gifts to charity and feeding the homeless. Hmmm. Now that's an idea. Even Christian perhaps?
Well, time to go out and buy lights, a nice pagan tree, spend money on gifts people don't want and support George Boosh's economy. Joy to you too.
Then you have an entire industry built to produce food for the feast, featuring a basically tasteless bird, package bought "stuffing", potato buds, canned cranberries (which almost nobody eats at any other time of the year), disgusting psuedo vegetables such as sweet potatoes, turnips, and pumpkin pie. Gag. Just because someone has surmised that the Pilgrims ate such fare, we should be subjected to it? Are you kidding me? Furthermore, we didn't even begin to "celebrate" Thanksgiving with all the trimmings and football until relatively recently.
The first Turkey Day was held sometime in late September, 1621. Not November. In the early 1800's New York State adopted the celebration as an annual custom. By the mid-1800's many states had done so. In 1863, Lincoln declared the last Thursday in November as Thankgiving Day. In 1939, Roosevelt declared that it should be the fourth Thursday in November. So you see, it is not exactly some sort of miraculous thing that started back in the days of the Pilgrims and has carried forward to us intact.
In fact, the Pilgrim's initial September harvest feast lasted three days and they ate a VERY different menu. There would have been many different kinds of meat (meat was for when you wanted to celebrate), fish, lobster (almost a pest, there were so many), clams, corn, berries and of course, wild fowl.
Which brings up one of the things that bothers me most about American-style "holidays" (note that Thanksgiving is certainly not "holy" as in a holiday), they only lasts one day. The Pilgrims partied for three days. Three!! Now that would make a longish trip and fleecing by the airlines more worthwhile. Christmas is virtually universally two days outside of the US. Here, we shop, make merry have cocktail parties and plan/scheme and fret over gifts for a holiday that lasts 35 nanoseconds until the kids demolish the wrapping. Whoopee. Let's get real about this too: Christman is rooted in a pagan feast celebrating the shortest night of the year and was a multi-day event. The Catholic church shanghai'd it for their purposes (if the peasants are going to party anyway, let's make it about our gig) ... cause most scholars figure that Christ was born in February or March. Hey, I could do with a party then, and not some penance period starting and lasting for 40 days. But getting back to the plot, Boxing Day is civilized. Going back to work on the 26th as though nothing has happened, then pretending to work until New Year's Eve is insulting. In Europe (not extactly the model of working ethics, but...) the whole she-bang basically shuts down from December 20th until January 4th or so. Now that's what I am talking about.
And the fleecing of the public that goes on at Christmas too -- not only do you have to travel, you pay stupid sums for goods that will be sold for half of the price you paid, only days later. All to assuage some form of guilt drummed into us by the advertising agencies that would have you believe that McDonald's is good for you (I'm loving it). Imagine if you spent all those shekels on good food and wine ... you'd have a party that you would remember until the next year. Or, in perhaps a way that will brand me as un-American, you gave the money that you would have spent on gifts to charity and feeding the homeless. Hmmm. Now that's an idea. Even Christian perhaps?
Well, time to go out and buy lights, a nice pagan tree, spend money on gifts people don't want and support George Boosh's economy. Joy to you too.
posted by Zaphod at Sunday, November 27, 2005
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